Today is my love's birthday but we celebrated over the weekend.
A few weeks ago we had a dinner party at my best friend S's house. She and her husband made BeerCan Chicken which is the moistest chicken I have ever had in my life. It tasted so good that Sheri and I declared that we would have it all the time once summer rolled around. When planning her birthday dinner she stated that she wanted to make Beer Can Chicken at home.
For the weeks leading up to this past Saturday our mouths would water every time "Chicken" was uttered. The recipe and cooking process is seemingly easy- take a chicken, shove a beer can up it's butt, coat in olive oil and a dry rub and set on the grill for about an hour over a medium/low heat.
Saturday came and it was time to shop. The stores didn't have one big chicken (We needed one about 11 lbs) so we bought two smaller ones, about 5 lbs each. I picked up some Perfect Pinch all-purpose seasoning (Salt free-I'm not a salt person) and at the liquor store I got an 8-pack of the small beer cans. Smaller chicken=smaller beer can. We wanted to make sure it'd fit up the chicken's bum.
We came home and our friend Luis came over and we talked for a bit when around 4:00 we decided it was time to start dinner. Hannah, Sheri's teenager, had helped me cut up 5 lbs of red potatoes for my famous roasted reds and those were put in the oven for the next hour. Sheri and I rubbed Olive Oil all over the chickens and the seasoning, gave them both a little slap to cook well, and gently slide them down over the beer can. Luis had said from the other side of the kitchen it sounded like a porno.
"Ok lift that up."
"Is it in?"
"No you have to pull it apart wider."
"Easy now, slide it down."
Once the cans were in place we carried them out to the grill. I precariously lifted them up, making sure that the can didn't slip out and put them on the grill (they have to be in the standing position). We closed the lid and went back inside.
About 15 minutes later we're still standing in the kitchen and talking when Sheri's little one, Jillian, walked in. She goes to the backdoor and looks out at the grill and says "Umm, Mom? Is it supposed to be smoking like that?"
We looked outside and we see that there is smoke BILLOWING out of the grill. I glanced down a bit and noticed the ENTIRE underneath part was glowing with fire. "HOLY SHIT! IT'S ON FIRE!" I screamed.
Sheri and I ran outside and she ordered Jillian to stay in the house. I wasn't sure what to do thinking that any moment the propane tank could explode. I ran over to the grill and I turned all of the burners off but the fire was still blazing strong. I screamed at Sheri "Go get a fire extinguisher!"
"I don't have one!" She yelled back.
"We have to put this fire out before it gets to the tank!"
Sheri, being ever so brave, reached under the burning grill and started frantically closing the tank nozzle to cut off the supply. Once the tank was off she grabbed the fire poker that's outside for the fire pit and lifted the lid. There stood our two chickens, completely blackened and still on fire. With the gas off the fire died down on it's own and we were safe. She got tongs and lifted the chickens and put them on a baking sheet. And then she said "Babe, I think they're done."
"Sheri, they've been on there for 15 minutes. They're not done. And even if they were they're completely burnt!"
"No look! We can scrape the burnt layer off. I think we can salvage them!"
"No, absolutely not. I am not serving blackened chicken to your mother. I'll never hear the end of it. I'll go to the store and get two more, dispose of these so your mother doesn't see and then no one will be the wiser."
I grabbed a garbage bag when I heard Sheri's mother shuffling towards the kitchen and ran outside. We dumped the chickens in the garbage and disposed of the evidence before anyone else could see them.
Luis and I went to the store and we picked up two more chickens and a pack of chicken breasts, just in case.
We rushed home, seasoned the chicken all over again and brought them out to the grill. THIS time we left them on the baking sheet so the drippings didn't drip down and start another fire.
An hour later we were enjoying two very, VERY delicious chickens and I was thanking the heavens that dinner didn't entirely go up in flames.
Rest in Peace Chickens-I'm sorry that you died needlessly.
Our friend Luis left the following on Sheri's wall to wish her a happy birthday :
No comments:
Post a Comment