Meet the Parents

Posted September 22, 2010

The year of 2008 was a year of moving forward for Sheri and I.  We had gone to Atlantic City a bunch of times for a long weekend, yes, but we had never really gone on a real vacation. 

I had already been to Memphis twice in the previous year and I was itching to go back.  I wanted to walk those streets where I found myself again and visit my best friend.  I also wanted Sheri to finally meet her to learn that she can stop thinking that I'd sleep with her every time I went down there.

I told Sheri I wanted to go back and that I wanted her to come with me.  Intially she was deadset against it because, well, that's just how Sheri was.  I flipped.a.shit on her.  I started protesting that I have never asked her to do anything and she was going to come to Memphis with me whether she liked it or not.

Up until this point my parents did know about Sheri.  Sheri had already met my brother and sisters but my parents were very slow to come around.  I had told my parents in Jan 2007 about our relationship and I was met with hostility as I knew I would be.  I had faith that my parents loved me enough to accept me.  I told them that I was tired of living for everyone else-that I needed to live for me and that if they truly loved me that meant loving ALL of me and that included me being bisexual and in a relationship with a woman. 

It was in late May of 2008 when Sheri and I went to Memphis.  About 2 weeks before our trip she met my mother for the first time.  My mother and I had gone to a charity walk for my oldest sister's husband's nephew who has Cystic Fibrosis.  On the way home from the walk I was talking to my mother about Sheri.  I had stopped in the middle of the conversation to thank her for growing so much over the past year and a half and allowing me to be more open with my life.  I was so proud of her and that's when my mother announced "I think I want to meet Sheri."

I sat in the car and stared straight ahead.  I cautiously asked "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she answered.  "I had a dream the other night that I met her and I absolutely loved her and we became best friends.  I was so upset that I lost out on so much time because I couldn't accept you."

Now folks, this was HUGE.  Up to this point my parents didn't want me to talk about her, I wasn't allowed to have pictures of her because they didn't want to know what she looked like, and my mother had always said "I don't care what you do in that part of your life but I don't want to see it or know about it."

I slowly lifted my phone to text Sheri who was at work that day.  I said Umm...my mother wants to meet you.

She texted back Are you serious??

I responded Yup!

I don't think we're ready yet...

I sat there in an enclosed space feeling walls closing in on me.  My breathing was rapid, my chest was tight, and I looked out the window as my mother insisted on wanting to meet her-my father was in Portland, OR for two months for work and she thought now was the time to meet her and get to know her so she could talk to my father about her and warm him up to the idea.

When we got home I had called Sheri at work and she was asking what brought this on.  I filled her in on our conversation on the way home and I heard silence, and then a deep breath.  "Do you....do you want to ask your mother if she wants to join us for dinner tonight?"

"Really?"

"Yes...but ask before I change my mind!"

I called my mother and asked if she wanted to meet Sheri tonight at Friday's and she answered "Sure!!" very enthusiastically

We got to Friday's around 7 and my mother and I were seated at a booth and we ordered a drink.  Something to calm our nerves I thought.  "Are you nervous at all?"  I asked her.

"No, not at all.  I'm ready,"  she said genuinly.

I'm out, I'll be there in 5 buzzed through my phone.

I took a deep breath.  "Sheri just got out of work, she'll be here soon."

I had sat us at the booth so I'd see Sheri walk in first and my mother's back would be to her.  When I saw her walk in I jumped up and ran over to her and took her by the hand.  She whispered "I almost kept on driving I'm so nervous."  I smiled reassuringly and lead her to the booth.  She and my mother exchanged very big smiles and a handshake.  We sat down and it was instant chemistry.  They talked the entire time.  I just sat there and watched them bond and I was smiling like an absolute idiot.  The two most important women in my life met, and were actually getting along!

We were there for 3 hours.  We were laughing the entire time.  It was around 10 and Sheri had to get home.  We stood up, she walked us to my car, and gave my mother a hug.  I started up the car and then walked Sheri back to hers and threw my arms around her and gave her the biggest kiss.

I got back into my car and my mother turned to me and was so sincere and said "I absolutely love her".  She thought Sheri was a riot.  She did also comment on how tall Sheri is.  She goes "She's a big girl...she's got bigger boobs than me!"  I couldn't contain my laughter.  She called my sisters and raved about her the entire way home.

It was like a weight was lifted off my chest.  Since then my mother absolutely adores Sheri.  When she knows she's coming over she shouts "Ooohh!  We can play Wii!  Or badmitton!  Or Boggle!"  I have to remind her that she comes to the apartment to visit me, not my mother!  My mother begs to go away on vacation with us-or will leave us a list of things that need to be done around the house

Next time I write will be about Memphis which we first visited together end of May 2008