In recent days we've stumbled across old pictures that bring memories flooding back to the front of our brain. I have often said that I don't really remember a lot of the beginning of our relationship. Maybe it was because we were in a vodka induced haze, or maybe it was becaues I surpressed a lot of that hurt that I inflicted upon myself, but whatever the reason the beginning is very foggy. Like when you wake up and you're desperately trying to remember the dream that you just had and you can't recall any specific details.
Our friend Luis sent me a picture of Sheri yesterday in her PetSmart uniform. Her shirt was red, rather than the navy blue the managers wear, and she still had a handwritten name tag. This tells me this was probably a picture from her first few days at working in my store. We actually have no idea who took the picture but we suspect it was one of the stock boys.
I sat there, staring at that picture, and seeing once again what she looked like when I first met her. She looks the same, just a few years younger as she was only 39 at the time. But it...I don't know how to explain it, it just brought back all of the emotions that I had in the beginning. I was grinning like a fool as I stared at her and fell in love all over again.
I don't have many pictures from the beginning. I know there was one day we were sitting in my car and for some reason she had brought her camera to work. I sat in the drivers seat and she was in the passanger seat clicking away. I want to track down those pictures and remember what I used to look like. Remember, I was only 22.
We went from those two people, knowing nothing other than our undeniable need to be together, to the people we are today who love each other endlessly, regardless of how much we want to strangle one another sometimes.
I told a lifelong friend of mine last night that even if I have my hands wrapped around her neck strangling her, I want to kiss her at the same time. If that's not love, I don't know what is.
Last week we were able to play house for five days. She was able to send her mother and her youngest to southern Jersey to spend a few days with her brother, leaving her oldest home with her and the house open for me. I went up Wednesday after work and I had enough luggage to make it seem like I was moving in for good.
I have to have my pillows, especially my body pillow. I have a bad back and it helps me keep it aligned. Plus I hate feeling my knees touch each other and I cannot fall asleep unless I have something in between my legs (that's what she said). I also have gotten into the habit that I need a pillow over my head to fall asleep. It came in handy to block out the sound of her snoring.
I also have to have a fan. It's strictly for white noise and again, blocking out Sheri's snoring.
I'm happy to report that we survived living with each other for five days and came out unscathed. Unfortunately, Sheri and I don't get to sleep in the same bed with each other more than maybe two, three times a year. And that's just for a night or two. Rarely, maybe once a year, we'll spend more than three days together.
Sleeping together is interesting and humorous to say the least. Since we're both used to having a queen size bed to ourselves, it's a huge adjustment to share that space with another body. We have to alter which side we fall asleep on, where our legs are. Half of the time I would get a knee in my back or hot breath in my direction. And the snoring.....ALWAYS with the snoring.
I wouldn't change any of it (I lie). As I said to Sheri that even though I will never have a good night's sleep with her, and that we'll need a California King sized sleep number mattress to be remotely comfortable, if I'm lying awake at two in the morning because she's snoring it at least means that I'm lying next to her.
Thursday night Hannah stayed at a friend's house so we had the house to ourselves. We made the most of it and I enjoyed unmuffled, unbridled sex for the first time in I can't remember. I thought once I moved out into my own apartment that I'd be able to be as loud as I wanted but I quickly realized that I couldn't be because well, I have neighbors. I live above an elderly woman who makes me dinner and I don't think she wants to hear me in that way. I was looking forward to unleashing my inner sex kitten and being as loud as I wanted to be.
And did I deliver. In the midst of our curiosity and voyerism, Sheri and I had found some "videos" that showed a new position that we could try. The first time we did it a few weeks ago I felt something that I have never felt before, an internal orgasm. I have also learned that thankfully there is a pillow under my head so I could just turn my face and unleash everything into my pillow. Thursday night was no different, only no pillow. I wanted to be loud, I wanted to not care if most likely her neighbors heard me. And I'm sure that they did. I think the pictures on her walls were shaking with my screams.
I love our new position. It's like the planets and stars align and angels sing and there are freakin unicorns granting me every good feeling that has ever been felt. I had said to her that we should make that a once in a while position because it's hard on my legs but....it just feels too damn good.
Don't worry, I worked it for her too. We were making love during a pretty violent thunderstorm Thursday night. I worked her up to a good climax were she was clamped down around my fingers and we layed there, holding one another. There was a HUGE clap of thunder and I ripped my fingers out to cover my ears and the poor girl, I made her jump I pulled out so fast.
Needless to say we had the best night's sleep Thursday.
Friday we woke up and took advantage of still having the house to ourselves and ventured out of the bedroom to christen other parts of her house. We found a her position for her to get in while we had our little toy on and she was able to climax easily which for her, is major. Being able to make her feel that good, being able to make her sound the way she does....there is just nothing hotter. Nothing. If I could do that all the time for her, every day, it would be amazing. Our sex can be a little one sided since I am as easy as the wind blowing, but she can only have one, two if I'm lucky, and lord do you have to work for it. So when I can give her a good one, I lay there with a triumphant smile and know that when she is panting, pats my leg, and tells me "I'm good" I know that she is.
I think I'm still catching up on missed sleep from this past weekend. But like I said, I'd rather be laying next to her wide awake than not at all.
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